Mixed reasoning for sinking into the Blog

posted elsewhere on

June 1, 2009

Sinking into the blog

Alright, so it has been a while since I wrote here. Excellent reasons prevented me from continuing to slather my self-pitying claptrap onto the wires. The most important of which is that I’m no longer teetering on the brink of an abyss. Not too long after my last post, I had a very sudden and remarkable realignment. I felt as if I had returned from a long vacation without the tan. Unfortunately, my rediscovered clarity also brought recognition of how my life had suffered the fool that had been in my stead. Much of it required my immediate and unrelenting attention. Relationships were in shambles. My economic situation was dire and my career little more than smoking embers from which I derived warmth no longer.

I’ve since made some progress but my life still resembles Atlanta in 1868 no matter how I try to shape it. Outwardly, I am much more stable in appearance and behavior. However, and this is the important item which corresponds somewhat with the original purpose and intent of this blog, my mind is still my greatest enemy. Ah, I see that I’m already sounding like a paranoiac, but I assure myself regularly that I can in no way be afflicted with such a ridiculous curse as that. When I have the detrimental and self-destructive thought, I recognize it immediately, and (pay close attention) I recognize it as a thought created by an unhealthy mind which has little to do with the reality in which I move and breathe. The detrimental thoughts have continued to plague me, as I’m sure they plague every human cursed with a degree or two of free thought, but I have regained some composure despite them.

The above raises questions that are not so easy to understand and much less easy to capture any sensible answer for. If I am only able to understand the world as it presents itself through my senses, which tragically are all components directly or indirectly of my mind, and my mind itself is flawed. How then am I to know for certain that I am 1) no longer teetering on the brink 2) not a paranoiac by matter of fact 3) that my life is any less shambled now than it was the first moment I recognized it as being in shambles, or even, for that matter, if it ever were actually in shambles?

I judge answers to these questions with great leniency for fear that I may settle on a single obvious and comprehensive answer and be blinded to the multitude which may hold additional stabilizing insights. Observing others’ reactions, though admittedly with considerable criticism, helps me form objectivity. I also pay keen attention to the levels of enthusiasm I feel from task to task. Today, for example, I’d rather wander lost in the Congo than fulfill the obligations of my job. I also pay very close attention to my emotions. From whence they generate inside of me I cannot know, but the stimulus which rattles my heart into racing, I often do. I’ve come to realize a few things which stir passion so great they very nearly cripple me. And of course, sleep. An insomniac gauges his peace like Odysseus measured the stars.

More later . . .

Mr. Hyde

Posted elsewhere on

April 16, 2009

Good morning, I fairly admit that you are going to have a darkly skewed opinion of me, but I want to talk about monsters today.  What might you think of me if we were to meet over a friend’s table, firm handshakes, smiles, sparkles of charm on our smiling lips as we sip whiskey from tapped glasses?  I’ll entertain you with stories of the romanticized south, as only an educated and liberal pseudo-southerner can espouse. I might even nod and say, “That sounds fun!” when you offer a date at the climbing gym or a coffee break together at Starbucks the coming week.  You’d exit the party with your hand on your lover’s back, commenting on how great the company and battling your own insecurity over a stupid joke or spilled wine.  But what might you think if you had heard the low rumblings of warning rolling in the back of my throat.

Or, perhaps the dinner party is entirely illusion.  Perhaps you pull aggressive to the teeth at the thought of the type! Perhaps, like me, you enjoy the company from a distance while that other part of you plays the game, talks and schmoozes. You sit safely distanced within, surrounded by heavy curtains designed for silence, and watch from behind mirror-dark glass as we greet and pour. Yet somehow on those rare occasions, I see across the smile and glassy sheep’s eyes and shaken hands, across the chasm and dizzying depths, through the layers of dark glass, I see your silent position in the distance, the spot from which you watch the spectacle, disgust etched between your twitching eyes. Except you do not hide from me, you are simply absorbed in craving; you require a palliative to ease the tension of your addiction. Or perhaps you not paying any attention because you forever preen your delicate and unappreciated feathers and wonder how the conversation left the topic of your success. Maybe you let me witness your fear, as you obsess over a charge or responsibility left undone. Or then again, and most shocking of all, my glance shudders to a stop just below the surface, for you are the genuine article. I find no protected vantage within, but simply ankle-deep naïveté. You actually are the charming face, full of kindness and cheer who so willingly dines with monsters.

Ah, the topic of my concern, monsters and the poor misunderstood Dr. Frankenstein whose monster was merely a monster of the flesh. There is but a single defense that may or may not be a side-note. I think back on the story and of the blonde beauty who suffered his clumsy wrath. Such a hopeless and clumsy oaf, careless in the doling of his admiration, but his gift, if seen correctly, was of such powerful devotion as to move mountains? And what was her mistake exactly, other than to trivialize his gift through vanity’s misjudgment of simplicity. Imagine for a moment, how different the story might have played had his offering, a simple dandelion for sure, had been recognized for its significance. Had she, for one moment, seen the power and enormity of the gesture, instead of scoffing and recoiling, how protected she would have been. Had she seen the scope of his devotion, the unfortunate monster would have become a child to her guidance, a puppy in her hands and perhaps no monster at all.

And then, Dr. Jeckle’s life-loving and fearless Mr. Hyde, in riotous splendor enters the room.  The fearful pair hold the throne as the most fascinating of all beasts for he lives, at the most fundamental level, at the core of each and every one of us and is a monster of the mind. It is Mr. Hyde who sits passively in judgment behind the dark glass, distanced from the delicate table conversation. It is Mr. Hyde who watches all with a keen eye to see who has the most telling secrets twisting their heart into choking dust. It is Mr. Hyde, inversely, whom everyone hates, for Mr. Hyde wakes his counterpart in each of you. If your crime is passion, he reads it in your eyes and begins a conversation directly with your throbbing weakness. If your crime is violence Mr. Hyde will rattle it with infuriating confidence. If your crime is narcissism, Mr. Hyde will present you with the truest mirror from which you beg to look away. Yet when all is said and done and the villain has scampered off into the night, only one lies broken and it is never Mr. Hyde.

What do I do exactly?

Originally posted elsewhere on

March 12, 2009

There is a direct correlation between my state of mind and my proximity to the weekend.  I think this must be indicative of the difficulty I have with my job.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy to be employed and I love the company.  However, there were some things that I seem to have overlooked in my assessment of the position.

First of all, this position does nothing to alter the state of the world.  Try as I might, practical import is not part of my job description.  Companies paying me to tinker around with the withered branches of the labor market amounts to little more than economic masturbation.

Secondly, the position is morally unrewarding.  No good comes from my work.  In the world of societal improvements, I might as well spend my days watching Perry Mason reruns.

And lastly, my work, far from any economic or moral reward, has no consequential significance at all.  Most jobs have quantifiable results.  Hell, even the definition of work involves something on which energy is spent, i.e.  a brick-layer has a wall to admire after his work is finished.  I expend energy but at the end of my day, nothing has changed in the world other than a few dollars have changed hands and, if I’m lucky, someone else might be asking their friend, “what exactly does that guy do?”

Brothers

I’m a big brother.  Not a real big brother, but like a mentor big brother.  My little brother is a local kid named Jack who pretty much started life with a raw deal.  I became his big brother when he was eight but he is eleven years old now and we’ve formed interesting roles in each other’s life.  Jack gets a friend through me that is easy going and yet still an authority figure with whom he is comfortable trying out new things.  I get the opportunity to rethink life through the mind of an eleven year old.

Recently, his dawning and limited awareness of the adult world has brought on the certain rejection of all things childish and the tentative and unsure adoption of what he understands to be mature behavior.   His never-ending social commentary betrays his thoughts, and often leads to heavy discussion or the occasional difficult moment.  He’ll throw out a nonchalant cuss word with a surreptitious glance my way to see if I’ll scold him for it, or wanting to know if he delivered the curse appropriately.  One day at the cinema, he announced (wrongly) to the horrified families around us that the animated rat’s joke was really a double entendre referring to sex.  Other incidents have broached subjects such as drugs, violence, political views, racism, domestic abuse, childrearing, marriage, and poverty, but because of the life he has already lived, his thoughts aren’t always simply curious ignorance.

This past Sunday while driving up Martin Luther King Boulevard, Jack and I passed several blocks of chipper pro-life protesters taking advantage of the weekend sun to perform their civic duty.  They were lively and unusually homogeneous for my neighborhood; underneath the myriad REI, North Face, Smart Wool and Columbia Sportswear outerwear, they looked uniformly white and well-fed.  Most of them held signs featuring some catchy slogan like ‘God loves the Unborn’ or ‘Life is Right’ and waving bright guilt-free smiles to Jack and I as we drove by, encouraging us to honk our horn in support.  Even their socially-conscious children were bouncing with excitement over the good work.  I saw one happy toddler perched upon a Coleman camp cooler, greedily devouring a saucy taco with one hand while holding a blocky-lettered placard accusing Planned Parenthood of Murder with his other.  His grandmother smiled proudly over him with a poster of a bloody disfigured embryo waving over them both.

Now to put this in context, I’m riding by these anti-abortion protesters with a kid who was born unjustly into an insanely tough life and was immediately thrust into the foster care system with an uphill climb to achieve even a simple life.  He learns with difficulty and struggles with weight problems, social insecurity, and poverty.  Social issues often touch a nerve.  I kept my comments innocuous and just kept driving.  After three or four blocks of cheery waves and disturbing images he asked rhetorically, “what about if the mother is sick and having a child will kill her, or if she was raped by somebody?”  I was surprised at his ready argument which I suspect he heard from someone else, but his next question is the one that really caught me off guard.  He looked over and asked with full sincerity, “I want to flip them off.  Can I flip them off?”

My first response was to laugh, roll down the windows, thrust all of our middle fingers, and teach the boy a few new curses, but then I thought that might not be the best example to set.  I took a breath, marveled at myself inwardly, and told him he was not allowed to make obscene gestures at the pro-life protesters.  His voice immediately shot into a whiny higher octave as he tried asked why not.  I told him squarely that they had a right to be out there pitching whatever belief they wanted to share and it wasn’t our place to infringe upon their freedom of speech.  Showing much more tenacity and wit than I expected, he shot back about how his freedom of speech includes the right to tell them exactly what he thinks, and that means he can flip them off if he wants to.

I almost conceded for no other reason than I was proud of the little man for putting up such an argument, but I really felt this was the moment to explain about the responsibilities of free speech.  He gave me his full attention at the next stoplight while I explained that living in a country that respects our right to free speech means that we citizens have the responsibility to protect the space in which everyone feels comfortable sharing whatever they believe.  As a kid who is regularly bullied, he understood the difference between hostile words and gestures and constructive debate with no trouble at all and agreed that the finger might be considered hostile.  He was characteristically quiet as he pondered what I told him, then said simply, “Alright, I get it.” (pause) “Hey, can we play video games when we get to your house?”

Next Steps

I’m going to take a step that is unprecedented in my life.  I am notorious for keeping things compartmentalized, but I don’t think I’ll do that anymore.  It is time for me to combine things, my private and public lives, my thoughts, my habits, my friends, bring them together, shake them up, and see what happens.  My friends and family could dine at the same table.  My loved ones and my business associates might just become friends.  I have refused to allow the corn to touch the mashed potatoes and squawked when the money allocated for transportation had to be spent on food, but not anymore.  Let’s see what happens!

Youth without Vitality?

Clearly we live in a time and place where sensitivity is the dominant paradigm and it is considered uncouth to point out someone’s faults or limitations.  However, when the number of people unable to serve in the military due to obesity, intellectual limitations, criminal activity and illegal drug use becomes statistically influential to the greater society, we must acknowledge the obvious implications are anything but innocuous.

Mission Readiness, a not-for-profit organization led by retired senior military and self-appointed to oversee the American military security and prosperity, released a statement today headed by the shocker, “New Report Reveals that 75% of Young Americans are Unfit for Military Service.”[1] The Mission Readiness report serves as an early warning from notable retired brass that our militarily ineligible youth present a national security risk.[2] In an article released on November 4th, William H. McMichael, staff writer for the Army Times, quoted harrowing statistics from the cited CDC study, on which the Mission: Readiness release was based, including a 283% increase in obesity rates since 1987 and a combined 50% military ineligibility due to poor fitness, limited intellectual aptitude or excessive criminal misconduct among America’s 17 to 24 year olds.[3] However, setting aside military matters for a moment, I’d like to consider the less obvious question that whispers from behind the study, that whether our unfit youth is really the problem or the symptom of a more insidious degeneration of collective values.

Certainly the hippopotomizing of our children is not simply due to gene degradation or technology induced de-evolution of the species, but is the direct result a tacit and widespread acceptance of mediocrity, the consequences of which may endanger society’s foundational economic, social, and psychological values in addition to its military security.  Extra pounds, legal indiscretions, and uncertain intelligence are merely symptomatic of this more insidious epidemic of low standards.  For the sake of creating an argument I will explore a few connections.  A lack of competitive spirit, traditionally taught through recreational sport and physical competition may possibly inhibit engagement in an increasingly competitive global market?  Rising health care costs for preventable conditions such as heart disease and diabetes, both linked to sedentary lifestyles, poor dietary habits, and obesity, pose a direct threat to economic stability.  A quarter of a generation failing to achieve in basic health, much less high intensity physical challenges may create near ubiquitous psychological apathy against struggle in general?  A glut of poorly-prepared youth may suggest a generalized fear of conflict and accountability in both parents and children, without which responsible governance and matters of justice are always at risk? Competitive spirit, a collective will to overcome adversity, and accountability are pillars of a just and equitable society.  What happens when those pillars erode from within?  I’ll grant that many of these implications may be mitigated through alternatives, but acknowledging that such a large portion of our population finds this state of affairs to be acceptable, suggests that the time for warnings is well-past.

 

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[1]. New Report Reveals that 75% of Young Americans are Unfit for Military Service. Mission: Readiness. Immediate Release, 5 November. 2009. Web. 5 Nov. 2009. < http://d15h7vkr8e4okv.cloudfront.net/NATPR1109.pdf >.

[2] William H. McMichael. Most U.S. youths unfit to serve, data show. NavyTimes.com, 4 Nov. 2009. Web. 4 Nov. 2009. < http://www.navytimes.com/news/2009/11/military_unfityouths_recruiting_110309w/ >.

[3] Ibid.

Thoughts on the Pink Slip Party

I was asked to put together my thoughts concerning lessons we learned and general impressions after our Pink Slip Party on May 19th.

The root lesson: We are not suffering the end of the world.

The general enthusiasm was contagious. I’m an introvert by nature, but inclusion could have been our theme for the night. Despite meager job prospects and despondent economics, everyone put their best face on and passed beyond the requisite self-promotion and into simple conversation. I watched project management professionals share stories about their experience, commiserate, and hand off leads to other PMs, against whom they may compete for upcoming contract gigs. That type of inclusive enthusiasm goes a long way and it was great to be a part of that.

This event presented great visability for the company’s whole-person perspective on staffing that requires this type of interaction. When a company hires, they aren’t hiring disassociated skills, they are bringing a person into their community. Getting to know someone through casual conversation with a beer in your hand is a welcome change from introduction by faceless resume and high-pressure interview. I met many people who, I hope, will partner with us on their employment needs well into the future. I’d like to envisage and plan other networking events to side-step more of the conventional barriers involved in this business.

On the other side of the coin, I appreciate the challenge of bringing people together. I understand there aren’t many companies scouring job fairs and resume sites for the three positions they’re likely to hire this year, but we didn’t have nearly as many recruiters and company representatives as I expected. Several small company owners were present but they were mostly looking for clients. Two other company representatives merely dropped off information but felt they couldn’t stay for face-to-face networking. Finally, two agency recruiters I met were looking to flee our glamorous profession; more evidence of the anemic employment market. Next time, I’ll be organizing direct involvement for company recruiters and soliciting firm commitments beforehand.

Another obvious result that I failed to anticipate involves the scope of IT positions and the broad range of attendees present. Had I received better representation from local businesses then we may have had valuable connections for everyone present, but I never specified which particular field of IT candidates would most benefit from the event in any of the invitations. As it was, several technical engineers were present without direct personal benefit, as well as a few Industrial Designers. I’m thrilled to have met them and I’ll know them when an opportunity comes along, but they would have been better served by a group targeting their specific functionality.

Clearly, the next time I plan an event of this sort, I’ll specify a particular specialization within IT and contact those few business most likely to utilize those skills. I’ll provide an opportunity for direct involvement on the part of company representatives around the specific focus of future hiring prospects. This will create a more beneficial result for everyone.

One last thing. My childhood home in Kentucky sat on a hill. My friend Shawna’s house sat on another hill nearly opposite ours. The well-worn dirt path that led between our houses descended from our respective front porches in such a way that if we began walking at the exact same time, we’d meet in the middle at precisely the lowest point between the two properties. Since neither of us wanted to make the uphill climb, this geography led to countless telephone arguments concerning at whose house we were to play. We settled this dispute once and for all by committing to always meet in the middle. That way, when it came time to trudge uphill, no one had to do it alone.

Rescession Skills for Recruitment

HA!  Yes, another blog about managing recruitment during an economic recession!  Well, sort of and sort of not.  I hope to comment more about the discussion itself, as it has been happening online.  I’ve seen so many posts and articles geared toward recruiters, both internal and full cycle recruiters, about what they NEED to do in order to remain vital during and after the “downturn”.  On one hand, I think most demonstrate clear thinking and intelligent research.  Some portend to demonstrate remarkable clairvoyance that has yet to be tested.  Yet, almost all of them offer some sort of advice about respecting your clients. I think this requires additional comment.

With agencies feeling the crunch, you can hardly check your linkedin and Twitter accounts without coming across another how-to article on surviving the recession. (why the definite article?)   While some of the bloggle offers insightful tidbits about ever-evolving job sourcing tools, most seem to stress fairly old-fashioned values.   Ere.net, a recruitment networking and information site, is papered with blog posts advising recruiters on how to maintain good reputations with the ever-growing a-list candidate pool with suggestions such as “Be nice”*, “Discuss things openly and honestly”*, and “Once you talk to them, be straightforward and genuine”*

Now, doesn’t that sound like common business sense? (emphasis on the common and the sense)  Yet there apparently is evident need to restate the fact that good business means calling people back.  Good business means discussing issues openly and honestly.  Good business means not giving the run-around.

So the question remains, why should we be reminded of courtesy right now?  For starters, with so much new blood on the job market, companies are overwhelmed with resumes and many have stopped responding to applicants . . . at all.  I meet excellent candidates daily who repeat the same story about how no one gives courtesy calls anymore.  Secondly, after so long living high on the hog, we may have developed an industry arrogance that won’t sustain us in down times.  Jeremy Eskenazi does an excellent job describing how recessions magnify our mistakes as well as our successes on ere.com.  Nothing like a recession to humble our over-blown egos and remind us about reputation management.  Perhaps there is even more to be discussed on the courtesy topic?

Change Management after Layoffs

My friend Sam recently asked my advice on how best to communicate to his manager that he was over-worked.  Yet after speaking to him, I found the company’s haphazard approach to change management after a round of layoffs was the real problem.  Mild economic recessions allow companies to trim workforce redundancy in the form of layoffs, yet the importance of clear communication and careful planning to mitigate the increased work stress for the remaining employees cannot be overstated. 

When cuts have to be made, less efficient employees often lose their jobs, while the most productive employees tend to be retained as long as possible.   In Sam’s situation, the company reduced his six-person support team to three employees as a way to cut costs, but gave very little guidance as to how to handle the increased workload.  While Sam was relieved to retain his position, he has found it very challenging to keep up with the additional responsibility. 

After a round of cuts, the remaining employees are called upon to handle additional responsibility, work longer hours, provide coverage in situations where they previously had help, and often for a lesser salary than that to which they have been accustomed.  Sam and his two remaining teammates are working extended hours on a reduced salary and are torn between mission-critical project requests by various people in the company (deadline-driven projects such as, report generation, presentation formatting, ad copy creation, etc.) and everyday job duties as supervised by their immediate manager (maintenance items, such as mail distribution, pickups and deliveries, housekeeping tasks, copying, etc.). 

The inherent risk in this model is loss of productivity and higher burnout rate in the remaining staff due to increased workload and work-related stress.  Companies caught off guard by the recession or who have been forced into reactionary measures are often so focused on saving the company that they are negligent in restructuring responsibilities for the remaining employees.  The increased workload has begun to affect Sam’s attitude and is creating a negative effect on his personal life and relationships.  He feels the problem is that he fails to communicate effectively to his manager, but Sam will feel less stress if he approaches the changes with a proactively.

Sam feels torn by conflicting duties to different people.  The project support requires so much of his attention that he can’t complete his maintenance items.  The ancient Greeks resolved a similar dilemma by maintaining their allegiance to the greater gods.  If an ancient Athenian swore an oath to Athena at the Oracle at Delphi and later discovered that it conflicted with a mandate by Zeus, the Athenian would clearly follow Zeus’s mandate from thence forward.  Zeus was clearly the greater god.  The Athenian assigns responsibility for his or her action onto Zeus’ mandate and forces Athena take the matter up with him.  The Athenian is thereby off the hook.  Sam could potentially neglect the mundane duties required by his immediate supervisor in favor of those mission-critical items requested by others, but those items still must be completed. 

Everyone within a business faces these types of choices, the CEO balances a duty to the shareholder and a duty to the customer, the project lead balances a duty to the team and a duty to complete the project, the employee has a duty to his or her own work/life balance and a duty to the company.  We find that in a business enterprise, any task left undone must be taken on by someone.  However, cooperatively and proactively managing change with communication reduces the stress on everyone.

 Here is the advice I gave to Sam on how he can adjust his own work to be a positive change agent within his company:

• Work to your fullest potential.  When pressed to meet a deadline, don’t dawdle trying to figure out something on your own, or learn a new skill or program.  Ask for help.  You can likely be taught in fifteen minutes what may take you an hour to learn on your own (and people are always willing to share their expertise).  You will be that much more efficient afterward and will likely earn someone’s respect in the process.
• Clarify your supervisor’s expectations, particularly when you regularly assist more than one individual.  You cannot satisfy anyone if you do not know what they expect of you.  Come prepared and clearly define all expectations with your primary supervisor, and then give your attention to the most important items first.  This discussion is also a perfect opportunity for your supervisors to recognize how overloaded you are or to become informed about work other’s are having you do.
• Be proactive, pay attention to the petty tasks as closely as you can.  When you notice that the garbage needs to go out, and you don’t have time to do it yourself, tell your manager, “I see the garbage needs to go out, but I can’t pull away from the work I’m doing for so and so.”  This way your immediate supervisor is aware that you are not dropping the ball, and will give them an opportunity to help you find solutions.
• Compromise your priorities with your coworkers at the beginning of a project.  Say, “I need ten minutes of every hour to go to check the kitchen and complete my other tasks.” Or “I have an intense project deadline for so and so; can he have my full attention until it is completed.” 
• Have someone who requires your assistance intervene on your behalf.  “Could you ask my immediate manager if I may be unavailable today while I’m working on your project?  I would like to give your important task my full attention.”
• Draft help from others for the mundane duties.  Even if your coworkers are busy and can’t help you complete all the tasks, they will recognize that you are being pulled in multiple directions.  You won’t get help if you don’t ask.
• Recognize the emotive behavior of people under stress.  This applies to you as much as to your supervisors and coworkers.  When everyone is pressed to the max, they may react quickly or emotionally when otherwise they would have more self-control.  They may also displace some of their own job related unease onto you personally, or you onto them.  This is destructive for everyone and squashes cooperation.  Work to be a source of calm for your coworkers and bridge the turbulent waters caused by high stress.